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Posts Tagged ‘Mother’s Day’

We’re celebrating moms this weekend. Thank you to eventer, trainer, horseman, and author of IN THE MIDDLE ARE THE HORSEMEN Tik Maynard for this original essay.

 

Scanned Documents

Tik and his mother Jen. Photo courtesy of Rick Maynard.

Mum

My mother walks into the bank, where she has banked since she was six years old. She waits in line, shuffling her feet. She studies the patrons, alert for gossip. The teller is frowning at a young girl who keeps repeating, “I don’t think so,” and then scrolls through her phone.

My mother huffs at cars that drive too fast, puffs at cars that drive too slow. She can’t teach riding, like my dad and I do, because she doesn’t “understand why they just don’t get it.” And if you are not a Democrat (in Canada a Green or NDP, or maybe a Liberal, if it is a year to vote strategically), you don’t have a prayer.

After ten minutes Mum walks up to the counter. The teller wears wire-rimmed glasses and is nearing retirement. She takes a deep breath then looks up at my mother. As Mum opens her mouth to say something, the teller speaks first. “Piss off,” she hisses.

My mother rocks back. Her eyes widen. And then she laughs. The teller smiles. They giggle. She feels honored that she is the kind of woman who can take a joke.

Mum will give it, but she can take it too. She loves that kind of thing. My mother teaches me to not take myself too seriously.

***

TikandMum3

Photo courtesy of Rick Maynard.

When I’m home in Canada we play Scrabble. Mum usually wins, which is frustrating because I want to win more than she does. She just likes getting a lot of points—the 50-point bonus for using all seven letters in her hand, or putting an X or a J on a triple-letter score. She is an expert at the small words: ZUZ, QAT, XI, XU, QI, KA, ZA, AA.

I lay down “LIB” across, which adds an “L” to “AB” to make ”LAB.”

“Great words, Tik!”

“Thanks, Mum.”

She does the math. “You’re only 85 points behind,” she says sincerely.

“Thanks, Mum.”

My mother reminds me to keep enjoying things for their own sake.

***

I wonder who else banters. It drives my dad crazy. It pushes my wife to the edge. But my mother and I can’t get enough of it.

“You shouldn’t talk on the phone while you drive.”

“It’s legal in Florida.”

“Legality is not the same as intelligence.”

“Are you calling me stupid? Because stupidly is mostly genetic.”

Scanned Documents

Photo courtesy of Rick Maynard.

“If you are going 60 miles an hour and look down at your phone for two seconds, that is like going the length of a football field without looking up.”

“Did you know 80 percent of statistics are made up on the spot?”

My mother looks at me.

“Mum, I’m just saying, did you do the math on that?”

“We can figure it out right now…”

“And have you ever compared the reaction times of someone in their thirties to some in their eighties?”

“I was born in 1946.”

“So you haven’t?”

It’s like eating potato chips. We can’t stop.

***

My wife Sinead and I have a little joke where we like to give each other backhanded compliments.  We decided to let my mum in on the game this year and sent her a gift with this written on the card:

What some might call stubborn and overbearing
we see as strong-willed and filled with love. 
Happy Mother’s Day, from Tik, Sinead, and Brooks

***

My mother taught me to appreciate stories and literature. She taught me the names of constellations and how to grow tomatoes and that science is a method and not a discipline.

She taught me to question authority. (Entirely by example.)

My mother made me realize that we are all paradoxes. We are all hypocritical. She taught me that loving someone and understanding someone are not the same thing. My mother drives me crazy.

My mother taught me to love strong women.

Happy Mother’s Day.

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Photo by Patricia Dileo.

***

You don’t have to be from a different generation to be a strong woman. Take Sinead, for example. This will be her second Mother’s Day as a mother. Our son Brooks, about 20 months old, asked me to write a few words for him:

 

“Mummy” 

I watch Mummy make me breakfast. I watch her make me lunch. I watch her make me dinner. When my diaper needs to be changed she can make that happen too: She says “Oh, Daddy. Your turn for a bit…”

Sometimes I cry, but when I see Mummy, I know it will be okay.

Mummy teaches me things: “Dogs go ‘Woof-woof.’ Cows go ‘Moooo.’ Auntie Meg goes ‘Ca-caw, Ca-caw.’”

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Brooks and Sinead. Photo by Patricia Dileo.

Mummy reads me books like Giraffes Can’t Dance. She makes a joke about Daddy, but I think he is a good dancer. “Well, he is enthusiastic,” Mummy says. I don’t understand most of the book, but I point at the things I recognize and make noises.

When Mummy sits with me on the couch I feel like a prince. Sitting with Mummy is special; not everyone gets to sit with Mummy.

Mummy rides horses. I see her with them, and she is focused and calm. It is difficult to be focused and calm.

I like hugging Mummy. Mostly I just hug her legs, but when she picks me up and hugs me that is the best.

I love you Mummy.

***

In the Middle Are the Horsemen

 

Tik’s memoir IN THE MIDDLE ARE THE HORSEMEN is available from the TSB online bookstore. 

CLICK HERE to read a free excerpt or to order.

Trafalgar Square Books, the leading publisher of equestrian books and videos, is a small business based on a farm in rural Vermont.

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TSBMOMS-horseandriderbooks

It is difficult to avoid sounding platitudinal when praising moms in honor of Mother’s Day. But in a time when our very survival—as healthy individuals, as equestrians, as teachers, coaches, competitors…as a business—is being tested, it only seems fair to acknowledge how support and sacrifice for one person ultimately impacts many. Here, four of our authors and two members of the TSB staff recognize how their moms helped them become who they are today. And tomorrow, horseman and author Tik Maynard will share a special essay on the subject of “mums.” Come back and see what he has to say.

 

FreestyleSandra Beaulieu, author of FREESTYLE

“My mother Peggy has always been supportive of my riding career. She was not a  horse person, but she understood that I had a lot of passion and dedication at a young age. I used to get very stressed at horse shows; I put a lot of pressure on myself to get particular scores, and I was way too serious! I remember one show my mom put a smiley face sticker on my horse’s bridle, right on the poll, so I could see it while I was riding my dressage test. She always tried to lighten the mood and be supportive!

“Mom also spent countless hours videotaping my lessons so that I could review them afterward. This was before cell phones so the video camera was quite large and clunky!

“Thanks to my mom’s encouragement and support, I have had a wonderful career with horses. She loves to refer to my horse as her ‘grandhorse’ since she doesn’t have any grandchildren. Thank you Mom you are the best!”

Sandra and Peggy Beaulieu

Sandra and Peggy Beaulieu. Photo courtesy of Sandra Beaulieu.

 

Stride ControlJen Marsden Hamilton, author of STRIDE CONTROL

“I grew up in the 1950s and 60s, so my mum, Loys Marsden, was the typical mother of the time. She kept the house, looked after my sister and me, volunteered at the library, and belonged to the local garden club.

“When my parents gave in to their horse-crazy daughter (me), life changed…albeit gradually. Mum became my chauffeur to the stable for lessons, and when I started going to local shows, she became a terrific groom—she could braid a lovely tail and even sewed my riding jacket! Her volunteering days turned into hours helping me muck out and feed…she sometimes even lunged horses to keep them fit when I was busy at school.

“My mum was a true encourager and my biggest cheerleader.

“Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers…especially the mothers of horse-crazy kids.”

 

Many Brave FoolsSusan Conley, author of MANY BRAVE FOOLS

“I’m fortunate in that I had two maternal figures in my life: my mother and her sister, my godmother. Auntie Sue (I’m her namesake) was 19 when I was born; she never married or had children herself, so I and my siblings had her loving attention our whole lives. She is no longer with us in the physical, and I miss her every day.

“One of my first memories is being driven around with Auntie Sue in her Mustang, which even at age four I knew was ridiculously cool. Talk about a role model! I doubt that, should I get my version of a Mustang, it will have an engine, but I’m hoping my engagement with horses is making a similar impression my nieces and nephews!”

 

 

FergustheHorseJean Abernethy, creator of FERGUS THE HORSE

“What a privilege it has been for the last 30 years to be a mum and to have my mum, Shirley. Living through some hard times shaped Mum into a relentless optimist. I am the youngest of her four children. She taught us how to work hard and play fair. How to prepare bird or beast for the oven—from the barnyard, to the supper plate. How to play music. How to say “I love you” and “I’m sorry” and the joy of a real good laugh. “Be a sport,” she would say. “Don’t be a stick-in-the-mud!”

“To this day, my mum’s love for family and her nine grandchildren shines as bright as the sun. So Happy Mother’s Day to you, Mum. Thanks to your example I now have two amazing young men who call me ‘Mum’ with love in their voices.”

 

Martha Cook, Managing Director

“My remarkable mom. The changes she’s seen in her 97 years. She grew up in the Great Depression. She served in World War II as a WAVE in the Navy, managed a small business, and unerringly supported her horse-crazy daughter. Thanks from the bottom of my heart, Mom!”

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Ruth and Martha Cook. Photo courtesy of Martha Cook.

 

Rebecca Didier, Managing Editor

“With no money and no knowledge of the equestrian world, my mother helped me find a way to have horses in my life. She taught me to work for it if I wanted it and to get back on when I fell off (even if she had to look the other way!) My mother’s convictions, her creativity, her love for books and art, and her curiosity for the world in all its minuscule and easily missed moments of beauty, were integral to my evolution. I am so thankful to have her as a mother, friend, and fellow explorer.”

BeccaandMom

Rebecca and her mom, Francesca. Photo courtesy of Rebecca Didier.

 

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms of riders and writers…without you, TSB wouldn’t be!

Trafalgar Square Books, the leading publisher of equestrian books and videos, is a small business based on a farm in rural Vermont. 

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MothersDay15

In his book HOW GOOD RIDERS GET GOOD, author Denny Emerson details the success stories of 23 top riders. And it is perhaps no surprise that when asked to name some of the reasons they “got good,” many of these equestrians listed “Mom” way up near the top.

“My mom was my first teacher,” says Reining Freestyle Champion Stacy Westfall, “but she didn’t just tell me what to do. She wanted me to figure it out. If my pony did something wrong, like stopping at one of the tiny jumps we had set up, Mom would say, ‘Why do you think Misty did that?’ Her approach got me thinking like a horse, which has really influenced my life. When you can figure out what the horse is thinking and how to communicate with the horse and mold that, you can do almost anything.”

Co-founder of the American Hunter Jumper Foundation Louise Serio agrees that moms can be the best riding teachers. “My mother taught riding for a living,” she says. “She didn’t make us kids ride, it just happened…Whenever we were ‘just riding,’ though, my mother was always teaching someone. I can hear her and her instruction in my mind, from all those years.”

Cowgirl Hall of Fame Inductee Sandy Collier says, “When my mother realized I was absolutely a horse person, she made sure I got lessons with quality trainers and helped me get involved with Pony Club and eventing (because that was available in our area). That was my foundation; the seat I developed for dressage contributed to my success as a reiner.”

“My mom had been a serious rider as a junior and there were horses in our backyard in Ocala from the time I was two,” champion hunter rider Havens Schatt chimes in. “We had a really good pony I could sit on in the paddock, in front of the kitchen window where my mom would watch me…Having a parent who was so into horses made riding feel natural and easy from the start.”

On the opposite side of the horse-family spectrum, gold-medal-winning British event rider Mary King says, “Although my mother wasn’t interested in horses herself, she liked to help me; she made the picnic and drove the lorry to competitions, as she still does today! My dreams seemed farfetched, from a starting point of a non-horsey family with no money, but I have been able to do what I dreamed of doing.”

And at least partly because of Mom.

 

Thanks to all the supportive horse moms out there.

Happy Mother’s Day from Trafalgar Square Books.

 

Trafalgar Square Books, the leading publisher of horse books and DVDs, is a small, privately owned company based on a farm in rural Vermont.

CLICK HERE to read more from Denny Emerson’s HOW GOOD RIDERS GET GOOD

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TSB Mothers Day

 

We never forget our mothers’ advice…

Thank you to all the mothers out there who read us horse stories,

held ponies in the dust, heat, chill, and rain,

and still remind us to lift our feet up when we trot.

Happy Mother’s Day from Trafalgar Square Books.

http://www.HorseandRiderBooks.com

Photo of mare and foal by Keron Psillas. Keron’s photographs are featured in the books THE ALCHEMY OF LIGHTNESS and MEDITATION FOR TWO, published by Trafalgar Square Books. See more of Keron’s fantastic work at keronpsillas.com.

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